Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
