when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
