is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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