question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
