Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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