He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
