What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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