i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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