I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
