but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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