im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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