he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
