I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
