I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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