Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
