Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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