im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
