Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
COCAINE IS GR8
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
