Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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