He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize