No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
