Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
