First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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