would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've blown a few things in my day
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
