that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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