he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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