Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
