so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
