..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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