just come out here and I will go home with you...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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