Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
