So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
