Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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