The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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