i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
