My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
