im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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