Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
