New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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