My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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