hotel room ftw
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
