I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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