So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
