U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
