So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
