sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize