I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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