did you get engaged???
he wants to bone in the snuggie
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
