For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
