There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
