Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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