My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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