Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This baby is an asshole
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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