I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
