The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
