It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
