When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
