Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
