but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
