who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
